‘Love Notes by Chi’ is BrownStyle Magazine‘s new column—curated by professional matchmaker Chi Love— that brings you insightful tips, and trendy discussions and answers your biggest questions about love, dating, and relationships.
Attracting a healthy and fulfilling relationship starts with loving yourself! As a professional matchmaker, I’ve seen firsthand how self-love can transform a client’s dating experiences.
By putting yourself first– hello, solo dates– you give yourself time and space to get to know exactly what you want in a relationship. For instance, what are your love languages? There’s no better time than now to find out. It not only helps you articulate your needs but also helps you set healthy boundaries.
As you’d imagine, discovering what truly brings you joy takes time and effort. This is why I strongly recommend loving on yourself before entering into a committed relationship. Keep scrolling to read my gentle reminders to help you navigate your self-love journey.
You Are Worthy Of Love And Respect
When you truly love yourself and understand your worth, you set a standard for how others should treat you. This comes in handy when navigating the dating scene. Remember, the relationship you have with yourself sets the tone for all the other relationships in your life.
You Deserve Compassion
Be kind to yourself, especially during times of struggle or failure. Instead of harsh self-criticism when you make a mistake, treat yourself with the same kindness you would offer a friend. Learning forgiveness will come in handy while navigating the ups and downs of dating and relationships.
You Only Grow When You Nurture Yourself
How can you pour into someone else when you don’t pour into yourself? I constantly remind my clients of the importance of taking care of both their physical and mental health.
Lock in that gym membership. Book that therapy session. Interested in learning a new skill or trying a new hobby? There’s no better time than now to invest in your personal growth!
You Should Always Celebrate Your Achievements
Celebrate your wins, no matter how big or small. By acknowledging your accomplishments, you motivate yourself to keep going. Plus, it’s an instant confidence boost!
To keep track of your achievements, grab a journal to write down each time you accomplish a goal— whether it’s personal or professional.
Your Confidence Is Connected To The Company You Keep
Did you know that the company you keep can affect your confidence? It’s true! This is why it is important to surround yourself with people who uplift, support, and inspire you. Avoid friendships and relationships that drain your energy or diminish your self-worth.
You Will Find Guidance In Self-Reflection
In the quest for love, it’s easy to lose sight of your own identity. That is why it is important to always self-reflect to help stay true to your values, interests, and goals.
Periodically reflect on your dating experiences and relationships. Assess what worked, what didn’t, and what you can learn from each interaction. This is key to recognizing a healthy relationship.
