My Journey To A ‘Soft Life’ Has Come With Some Unexpected Struggles…

Although everything in my life is calling me to relax, I find myself reluctant to change.

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It takes time. This is the mantra that runs through my head like a marathon as I navigate my journey towards a “soft life.”

When I think back, it was my fear of struggle that created my hustle mentality. I remember watching my mother wait for a man to help her, and the help never came. I was determined to never allow that to happen to me, but it did.

There I was left to fend for myself in a rat race with a familial hamster wheel that never stopped turning. This experience caused me to shift my mentality to make sure I was always good, which in my mind was a life of no struggle and all hustle. 

I had to hustle nonstop to keep my head above water. I had to hustle no matter who/what came into or exited out of my life. I didn’t trust that anyone would be there to help me, so I used my drive and determination to survive.

Bye, Bye Hustle Mentality: My New Reality

Chashawna Wesby
Photo courtesy of Chashawna Wesby

My life has truly flourished over the years. I’m now married with a stable income, loving support, and a great spiritual life. 

I no longer bear the burden of shouldering everything alone. I am blessed to say I am living a life where I’m not waiting for help, but help is here. A life where I can put my hustle mentality down, and just relax. 

I can relax because I can trust that the support is genuine, our income is consistent, and my spiritual life assures me that all is well. 

TBH: Finding My Soft Life Has Been A Struggle

Now, here comes the new struggle: trading my hustle mentality for a “soft life” filled with comfort, relaxation, and well-being.

Although everything in my life is calling me to relax, I find myself reluctant to change.

Let go of the hustle mentality. Stop stressing. Trust, believe, and relax.  

Huh? Relinquish control, you say? Umm, I don’t quite know about that…yet. 

While I acknowledge the potential benefits of soft living for my mental health, I’m faced with unfamiliar territory which is causing a war in my mind between the familiar realm of hustle versus the unexplored world of softness. 

I know deep within myself that softness will win the war, but every day I fight these small battles that cause me to challenge myself. 

Some days my hustle mentality wins, but I’ll admit that I find a sense of growth whenever it loses. When soft living wins, I experience personal growth that brings a sense of peace and happiness to my life and everyone connected to me. 

Embracing A Soft Life Takes Time

The relentless 24-7 hustle culture and struggle mentality I adopted in survival mode will be a defeated foe because it needs to be. My youth, my past, and my fears no longer have control over me, and it’s ok to let them not have control. 

As I transition to accept all of the blessings that I now have, I’m ok with the changes. I’m not all the way living the soft life, but I can guarantee you I’m living a “softer life.” 

Right now, I tell myself daily that it simply “takes time.”

This helps me to rid the guilt and shame of not believing that I deserve a softer life.

My mantra helps me to flow with the transitions, and to be honest, I’m loving every moment. It’s helping me to be alright with the process, but most of all, be able to fully believe that I am deserving of it. 

Editor’s Note: This story has been edited and condensed for clarity.

Chashawna Wesby— also known as "Penmagician" and "Passionate" — is a talented creative writer, singer-songwriter, and guitarist. With a passion for storytelling, the multi-hyphenate has been recognized for her work in creative writing, theater, and film. In addition to her music career, Chashawna has been involved in theater, web series, and film production. Chashawna continues to write new music, collaborate with other artists, and perform on stages, sharing her passion with the world.