After years of being solo, I found love a month shy of turning 50. Although many women share my story, the media rarely portrays finding love at an advanced age. I cannot begin to tell you how many films and novels I’ve read that highlighted the joy of young love. Yet, in spite of this and my past experiences, I remained hopeful that good love was out there with my name on it.
As a young single mother of three small children, the road to finding love was often bleak. Not being able to find the right fit became the norm, so naturally, the hope of finding “the one” was left far in the background as I forged ahead to create a future for myself and my little ones. As life would have it— and maybe a dash of “self-fulfilling prophecy”— I traveled on my journey of being single and unbothered.
My Road To Success
To say that I was busy is an understatement. I poured all my energy into raising my Tyson Superstars, as I called them. Laser-focused on my path to success, I’d also become a motivational speaker, self-published author, and self-development facilitator for the corporate world.
My life was full. My career was rewarding. My education was solid. My love life? Not so successful.
In the back of my mind, I always felt that “Prince Charming” would ride up on his white horse, fall madly in love with me, and happily embrace my children because we were all so awesome. To my disappointment, I was met with a whole lot of Frogs who were far off from the man of my dreams.
For posterity and probably my sanity, I started to journal for therapy. The more entries I wrote, the more my journals began to take on a life of its own. My personal thoughts— the good, the bad, and the laughable— eventually became my two tell-all books, which speak to the resilience and fortitude of single mothers.
Simply put, I was minding my own business, and it was paying off. Little did I know how my life would change in a way I would have never expected or imagined.
My Next Chapter
In November 2017, I met my husband Ramone in the Cayman Islands at an outdoor festival and concert. We got engaged in 2019 and got married in 2021.
This year makes 7 years, and my husband has been everything I have dreamed of and more. We’ve been successful against all of the odds and have created a beautiful life for ourselves against the expectations of society around our significant age difference. (Ramone didn’t tell me he was turning 25 when we first met, but I think it worked because I was a young 50 and he was an old 25.)
I have always said and felt that God was preserving me for something. As it would turn out, it was for someone younger than I would have ever thought. He kept showing up as the same man with integrity, grit, determination, care, and concern for me— something I had never found in its purest form until I met him. He wouldn’t let me cop out because of our age difference. And deep down, through the angst, I just knew he was the one.
Our relationship is a true partnership of commitment and friendship with no surprises.
Pivoting Into My Soft Life
After being so independent and accustomed to doing everything on my own, I’ve had to learn how to be authentically supported by my man. I had to learn how to truly relax and ask for help. I also had to learn how to receive that help.
So often, we women say that we want to be supported, but we struggle with knowing how to receive and honor that support. For me, it was a skill I had to practice. I had to learn how to be loved fully and completely by an incredible man.
My youngest daughter is now being raised in a two-parent household and I find joy in knowing that my days of being a single mom are behind me. No longer do I have the obligation to be everything to everyone. No longer do I have to be independent. I finally have support and nothing can describe the weight lifted off my shoulders.
The constant, reassuring presence of my husband— one that I found after thinking that I wouldn’t or couldn’t— has made all of the difference as I continue to pursue my dreams.
Not To Worry, Love Will Always Find A Way
My advice to women looking for love is to stay hopeful that it can and will happen! The universe will align those stars for you.
In the meantime, stay focused on becoming the best you that you can be. Do the work and develop your mind, body, and soul. From solo dating to self-care routines, make time to love on yourself. Also, keep your nose to the grind as you pursue your dreams. Remember, nothing happens overnight.
Lastly, keep your options open. If I had thought that love only looked a certain way with a certain type of man of a certain age, then I would have missed what I was blessed to find. And to the single moms, keep your head up and love your kids like nobody’s business!
