‘Love Notes by Chi’ is BrownStyle Magazine‘s new column—curated by professional matchmaker Chi Love— that brings you insightful tips, and trendy discussions and answers your biggest questions about love, dating, and relationships.
Moving in together is a major milestone in a relationship, filled with excitement and a touch of apprehension. Feeling overwhelmed? Don’t feel bad. It’s totally okay for new couples to have concerns before moving in together. It’s also not uncommon to want to weigh the pros and cons before making the big leap.
Statistically, one of the leading causes of relationships ending is finances. Next up would be sharing different ideals on cleanliness. This is why it is important to take your time and be thoughtful.
That doesn’t mean being afraid, but it’s best to go to the next level with careful planning and open communication. This will ensure you both have a smooth transition.
As a matchmaker, I think it is essential to build a foundation of trust and respect before moving in together. One of the most crucial aspects of cohabitation is establishing clear expectations regarding household responsibilities and finances. Openly discussing these topics early on can prevent misunderstandings and conflicts later.
Below, here are some topics I think you should discuss and agree on before moving in together.
Discuss Finances
Will you be splitting 50/50 or will you have another arrangement? Don’t make assumptions, have a conversation.
When living together, you must have a clear understanding of what bills you two will be handling and how they will be paid. Ensuring that both parties agree on financial management is also crucial.
Be sure to add these topics to your next conversation:
- – Discuss your financial goals, spending habits, and expectations for contributing to shared expenses.
- – Determine whether you’ll use a joint account or maintain separate accounts.
- – Create a budget together to track income, expenses, and savings goals.
- – Decide who will be responsible for paying which bills, considering factors like income and workload.
Align On Household Chores
Do you hate doing the dishes but don’t mind cleaning the tub? Who is better at vacuuming or sweeping? Does one of you work from home and therefore will be handling more of the chores that need immediate attention? These are important things to consider when aligning household chores.
After chores and upkeep are established, consider getting a calendar that you can both write on as a reminder of who is responsible for what to ensure it gets done.
How To Decide On Household Responsibilities:
- – Discuss your strengths and dislikes when it comes to household chores.
- – Create a chore schedule using a calendar or app.
- – Be willing to adjust the chore schedule as your lives and responsibilities change.
Set Boundaries
It is essential to be mindful when living together. This is why it is important to communicate your boundaries and ensure that you give each other space when needed. For example, do you or your partner need an hour or two to unwind after a long day at work? There’s nothing wrong with that.
It’s perfectly okay to need time to yourself to decompress. It’s all about respecting those wishes and understanding that it won’t negatively impact your relationship.
How To Set Boundaries:
- – Express your boundaries and expectations clearly.
- – Be understanding and accepting of each other’s needs for personal space.
- – Respect each other’s need for alone time or hobbies.
Guests & Visitors
When contemplating inviting people over, it’s best to let your partner know. Remember the space belongs to you both. To keep a harmonious home, have a conversation about how you plan to share the space with friends and family.
How To Agree On Sharing Space With Guests and Visitors:
- – Respect each other’s wishes if one partner isn’t in the mood for company.
- – Discuss your preferences regarding guests and visitors.
- – Inform your partner about any planned visits.
